Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize