she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
