Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
