I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
