Taylor Swift is so right about you.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Found the puke drawer
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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