All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
