batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
