it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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