i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
