my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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