she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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