I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
