id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
