You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
