Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
