Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
