A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
