Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize