dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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