sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
