Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize