Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
