If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
