Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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