I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I cut my penus on the lid.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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