Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
