we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
