Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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