What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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