eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
