Even the bartender felt bad for me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize