i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
