How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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