i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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