watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
