I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
