Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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