I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
