Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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