Sponge bath it is.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
