So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
