He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
