Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
