Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
