The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
