allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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