yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
