Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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