I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
