she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
