dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
