I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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