Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
