Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
