I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
