sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
