Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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