I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
