This girl is more easily done than said...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
