so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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