I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
