I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
