No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I FOUND THE LEGS
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
