Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
