I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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