Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
