You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
