sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
