direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
