Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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