my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
